There are situations in life that everyone has to face and deal with without any training whatsoever. The first and possibly most awkward that comes to mind is passing people when walking.
- When is the appropriate distance to begin the greeting?
- How long of a greeting are we suppose to do?
- At what point in the relationship is it ok to greet someone
In high school (and I know everyone has had to deal with this) have you ever been walking down an empty hall and you are at one end and a teacher is at the other and its just the two of you? when do you greet each other? can I yell from about 30 yards back? or should I wait till we are right up there? and if I wait do I look at them until then? or do I stare at the ground? Once the timing has been figured out next comes what to say? "how are you?" do they really want to know how I am or are we just saying something as we pass? should we stop in the hall or just keep truckin? and finally at what point is it ok to greet someone? I talked to you once at a party, we were in a group project 2 years ago? I am your roommate? the worst is you can see them from afar and so you are both kinda looking up then down. Waiting for the exact distance to spit out your one line of greeting. Then maybe I look up to deliver the initial words and you look down. I look down then you look up but by then you see that I'm not looking. Next thing we know we are past each other and both of us are thinking "wow what a dick, just gave me the cold shoulder how bout?"
I'm sure all of you are wondering what does the very talented and above average looking man Adam Schuch do in these situations? Well I'll tell you my moves. First back in the day before cell phones if it was a long walk and we were not yet at talking range. I would act like I had something in my eye and kinda rub it and look down until we got close enough. So that it would be an excuse to greet at the right time or to just ignore completely if need be. But thanks to cell phones and societies standards its acceptable for me to just stare at my contacts scrolling through them as if I am texting then either greet or defeat. Depending on how I feel about the person. and for those of you wondering I usually deliver a simple "whats up dude" to the gentlemen I pass and a very provocative "hey" for the ladies. also FYI I don't really care what is up its just my greeting of choice
You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
I've been there. Pre-Cell Phones, I didn't really have friends or aquaintances, so that was easy to deal with.
ReplyDeletePost cell phones, I do the fake phone call like its my job. Usually, I just give a casual nod to the person as I am roughly three feet away from them. The phone saves me a verbal confrontation where the wrong thing may be said. What am I saying on the phone? Usually something extremely outrageous to get the other person to think something about me that they normally wouldnt.
"Dad said he needs my help in Costa Rica right now? Jeez, whats the point of having these - (pause to nod) - I know, I know."
Or...(Hick accent): "What do you mean Gilbert got out of his cage?! Okay okay, I'll be right over with his favorite toy and da spray bottle. Oh and make sure he done didnt get into ma underpants dressor."
ReplyDeleteI probably wouldn't use that one at. But I think it would be necessary if you wanted to weird someone out.