Restauwrong - Adam

First off Happy 234th Birthday to America, U.S.A. #1

Why I have mixed feelings on Restaurants:
I love the idea of restaurants. I go to someone elses place all I do is sit there. They bring me what I want. They wash the dishes. I don't have to do any work if I don't like it send it back and for a small fee at the end of the meal that can be avoided with a simple "let me use the bathroom" then out the door maneuver.

But allow me to help make restaurants one of the greatest things in the world:
First off some places have glass ketchup bottles...those have to go. they suck its impossible to get anything out of them then when you somehow manage to get some out its an enormous amount ruining your meal. Squeeze bottle was invented for a reason I don't care how fancy you think glass is it doesn't work. Next, can all the waitresses please stop starring at me and trying to sneak their phone numbers on to my table through numerous schemes and plans of trickery? I just want to enjoy the meal. Also, as soon as my food gets to my table as I am trying to eat I am bombarded with five different people asking if everything is alright...can I just eat this thing please? then they never come around when you need a refill so here is my idea: Flight attendant button at the table. If I need you I'll turn it on, if not stay away I'm trying to talk to my company and fill my stomach. Lastly, restaurant subscription: this is an awesome idea. I play my favorite place a monthly fee for unlimited access to their stuff. Like a phone, gas, electric, cable, internet, gym membership, just let me enjoy the meal and not have to pay at the end what if I don't want to bring my wallet or anything? Its a genius idea I know and I don't know why it isn't happening.