the splash back.
Yes it is up there as one of the most disgusting things known to an America man. Even more so is the neighbor splash where the bro next to you gives you a little treat on the feet.
I know a few dudes who have put their wet foot down and refuse to use urinals because of splash back. Well the other day as I was experiencing the unavoidable slash back on my legs and feet holding back my urge to barf I started thinking... its 2011 and porcine is the best we can come up with for a urinal? It's basically a force field reflecting right back onto you... so I started to consider other possible urinal material then it hit me like a splash of urine to the toes...
what if instead of changing up the material we simply change the design... Ladies and mainly gentlemen I give you one of my top 100 best ideas ever “The Urine Yield Shield” The UYS is a simple modification of the classical urinal. The only thing you have to change is simply make the urinal opening a long narrow gateway much like the trench on the death star.
The current “satellite dish style” actually encourages splash back. The side walls that are intended for privacy end up becoming urine navigators that help make sure ever drop of urine is returned to sender. I know I'm not a scientist but a simple trip to the bathroom and anyone can figure out there is a flaw to the design of the urinals.
So you might be thinking “Adam why hasn't someone solved this problem before?” Well folks it is because I believe that the shoe industry is also connected to the urinal industry you see if we solve this problem then shoes won't be covered in strangers urine thus people won't buy shoes as often. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if Nike has this blog taken down minutes after the posting of this article. In fact I would be surprised if it stays up all day today!
If anyone has any tips that you've mastered on how to prevent slash back I'm all ears.
"make the urinal opening a long narrow gateway"
ReplyDeleteThat will work as long as every male works on his aim. Coming from someone who had to clean the guy's bathroom at a food place for a while I have to ask, how can you write your name in snow but not hit a big white dish on the wall?
And before you think it was splash back, it was all over the wall and sometimes on the opposite wall like the guys thought it would be fun to spin around and redecorate.
Wow. A blog posting that doesn't involve cutting back U.S. spending (or Terrelle Pryor's spending allowance at OSU) to cure AID's, hunger, leopracy, hammertoe, and/or receeding hair lines in young men. Amazing. What Adam? No doing away with the toilet and the urinal completely in order to make people go to the bathroom (both types) in a hole in the ground like they do in Taiwan? Somebody secretly likes American culture outside of MJ shoes and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches....
ReplyDeleteKacie: how can you write your name in snow but not hit a big white dish on the wall? That's simple aim isn't the issue it's intention. Every dude can hit a thermal exhaust port approximately 2 meters wide, no bigger than a womp rat the question is intention and integrity does the dude WANT to?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: hammertoe is an issue that America needs to open their eyes to. Until we wake up my mission will continue.
I for one would suggest the "Stream Curbing" Method. I find that if I take the precise angle, I can deflect the stream off the inner side, thrusting it off the side and safely into the back of the urinal. Proceed with caution, however. If you misjudge the angle you could end up with a Class 5 splash back, your shoes and shorts will be damp and you will be uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteor maybe just stand back really far...that can be fun.
ReplyDelete